Fear will stop forward motion!

I am 94 pounds down...I have been on a plateau for 6 month now. My trainer is trying different things and exercises. I guess my body is adjusting to the new size and level. God is teaching me new things about myself. For instance, I have now come to realize, I have had a lot of fears: Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the dark, fear of heights, fear of not being important, fear of being too pretty (vanity I know - keep reading, I will explain), fear of being not pretty enough, fear of not being smart enough, fear of not sounding smart enough, fear of the unknown, fear of older two story houses (they could burn down and I would get stuck up there!) and many more ridiculous, irrational fears.

God is teaching me that these fears - as insane and irrational as they are- are stopping me from going forward in my weightloss and that to go forward and sustain my weightloss I need to get rid of them.  For example, my fear of being too pretty - I know right!!- is a true fear for me because...well, okay I am about to make a confession here - while I love and adore my husband, he is not the most - {deep breath} - affectionate. He doesn't necessarily think it important to tell me - out loud, with words - that I am attractive to him. But boy does he love to receive it! AND if you have ever read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts By: Gary Chapman - a book I highly recommend - you will know the that one of the love languages is "Words of Affirmation". That is my #1 love language and it is the one language my husband refuses - yes refuses, not just being stubborn, but absolutely resolved never to do. 

I am a moderately attractive woman and the thinner I become, the better I look - in my overly confident, not so humble opinion. Which is where the fear comes from. You see, others are telling me how great and pretty I look...not just women. It is hard for me for two reasons.

First, when it comes from a handsome man, -to be honest - I am tempted and wonder why my husband doesn't say those kind words.  I mean really, would it kill him? or I think 'he just doesn't love me enough to actually feel those words are true.' You know what I mean? Does he think it, but not enough to let me know? While another man feels so strongly that he tells me...Not that I think every man who tells me 'is in love with me!" I don't, but why doesn't my husband when he knows how important to my psyche it is. It is a dark place I hate to be in, and I don't like it! But God is working on my husband and me. 

Secondly, what if I fall back into the trap I was in before when I was thin. It was a dangerous, dark pit! Basically, my thought process was 'All I have are my looks; I am not smart, I am not athletic, all I have to get by is my cute figure and good looks'. AND boy did I use them. I can admit that shamefully I did use my cute blonde hair/blue-eyes look to manipulate situations to get what I wanted...and it worked 99% of the time - and still does. Because lets face it - the world loves a pretty face and favors them! God brought me out of that stinkin' thinkin' and showed me I was more than just my looks. I am smart and I don't have to be fearful or intimidated by others I view as intelligent or successful. However, it is so easy to go back to that thought process, when I am around highly educated people. It doesn't help that I work at a college, where there are many who have much more education than I.

I guess really, that this is the biggest fear that I need to get rid of. However, a close second would be the fear of failure. I don't want to fail at this. I give all glory of this weightloss to God who has been my strength and help. I don't want to disappoint Him.  Even worse have others think that God just wasn't enough for me, so He won't be enough for them. HE is enough! Wow! Just typing that really helped me see how ridiculous that is! Hahahaha! He is enough! ALWAYS!!! I am victorious in Him! AND you are too!

Okay, thats enough for today. I have walked 5 miles and posted on my blog, so now its time to spend some time cleaning my house! lol, it is messy and it doesn't look like anyone else is willing to clean it - so its up to me. I hope you have a great day and that just maybe I have helped you in some small way.

~Judi

God is Working in Me!

Just a quick update. I have lost 76 pounds as of yesterday. I am still working out with my trainer Ryan at Hammer Bodies and eating as best as I can. I have attached before and after photos, if you care to look.

What a difference 45 pounds can make!!

I have a headache and dizzy feeling today, so I think I might be getting a cold, but I hope it will pass soon. It is almost the 4th of July and I don't want to miss out on all the fun.
Have a great holiday everyone...

Been a while

Well, to God be the glory, I am down 62 lbs! That is right. If this chocaholic, food addict can change her ways, by the grace of God, anyone can! I feel like I have been set free. And I have been. Today I went to eat a cookie that someone set out in the breakroom at work. I took a bite and thought this isn't satisfying, but I took another and knew, it wasn't worth losing my peace of mind over. I threw it away! Me, Judi Neeley, threw a chocolate chip candied cook in the trash can! A year ago I don't think I would have had the will or the power to do such a thing. God is stronger, when I am weak. God is stronger than any addiction I have. He is my light and my salvation and my STRONGHOLD! I love the transformation my body is making. Slowly but surely the weight is coming off. My muscles are getting stronger, and my appetite is getting weaker and surprisingly my tastebuds are changing towards the healthier, "greener" foods.

Also I am training for my first half marathon in October. I won't be running it, but I want to finish under 3.5 hours. I plan on keeping a 16 min. mile. I have been able to maintain a 17 min. mile for 5 miles. I know I will do it. I hope to be down in the 210's by then and that will help tremendously!

Energized!

WOW a lot has gone on since I last posted!

First (thing I can think of not chronologically), I have started using MyFitnessPal.com . It is the most awesome site for helping with weightloss that is totally free!!! FREE! I am a little excited about it. You can log your food and exercise and they have a huge database. Plus  using the android (or iPhone) App you can scan the UPC and it will plug it into the database! So awesome. They have a blog where you can talk with other people who are also getting healthier. You plug in your stats and they come up with a plan for you to reach your goal. I use it all the time and 

Second, since the start of using it I have lost 10 lbs - that's right you heard me 10 lbs! 

Boo Yah! Feels so good to be off that plateau! No going back. God has been so faithful to keep me on track and providing the tools for me to reach my goal. Just today as I was driving home from my work-out with Ryan, I started rationalizing giving in to my craving for ice cream. Kept saying to myself I would get the low-fat yogurt, but truth is I knew what I wanted and I would have gotten it. However, God had other plans. About 1/4 a mile away, I was listening to Joy FM and one of my motivation songs came on...Josh Wilson started singing "I Refuse". Immediately I knew what God wanted me to do...Keep on driving! He is my best help. If it weren't for Him, I wouldn't have even began this journey.

Third, I have injured my shoulder, which means I can do all the exercises on the plan. But we (Ryan P. and I) did others and I have started cycling! Which, by the way, is a lot harder than it looks.

Fourth, speaking of craving, I have started a Bible Study at my church on Wednesday nights using the Bible (of course) and the book "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. It is a wonderful book that I think I have talked about on here before, so I won't go on about it, except to say if you need the help and motivation read the book!

Ginger Chicken Soup Ginger has anti-inflammatory properties and can also calm an upset stomach. 

Ingredients

• 1 onion, sliced
• 2 celery stalks, chopped
• 8 ounces unpeeled scrubbed ginger, cut into 1/2"-thick slices
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed
• 1/4 tsp. Oregano & Thyme
• 1/4 tsp. Fennel Seed & Rosemary
• 1/2 Carrot chopped
• 1 pound Chicken breast
• 5 chicken thighs skinless and no bones
• Kosher salt
• Cilantro leaves chopped

Preparation

• Combine the first 5 ingredients in a large heavy pot. Add chicken, placing breasts on top. Add 6 quarts water (preferably filtered or spring water); bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Cover with lid slightly ajar. Reduce heat to low; simmer until chicken breasts are just cooked through, about 30 minutes. Transfer chicken breasts to a plate; let cool, then cover and chill. Continue to simmer soup, uncovered, until broth is fully flavored, about 2 ½ hours longer. Return breasts to soup to rewarm, about 5 minutes.
• Remove chicken from broth. When cool enough to handle, coarsely shred meat; discard skin and bones. Place a fine-mesh sieve over another large pot; strain broth, discarding solids in strainer (you should have about 8 cups broth). Season with salt.

• nutritional information

  One serving contains: Calories (kcal) 151.3 %Calories from Fat 16.9
  Fat (g) 2.8 Saturated Fat (g) 0.8
  Cholesterol (mg) 67.7
  Carbohydrates (g) 3.0 Dietary Fiber (g) 0.5 Total Sugars (g) 1.0 Net Carbs (g) 2.5
  Protein (g) 24.7
  Sodium (mg) 128.9

Insanity!

So, I have these sons that wanted the work out DVD's Insanity by Beachbodies for Christmas. Of course my husband and I got it for them...then they started saying "WE" need to start doing this together and "WE" will start on Jan. 9. I was amused and thought to myself, 'yeah right! I can't do that! It is way over my fat body's level'. Well, my wonderful sons didn't let me cop out and have held me to it. This is the fourth day and wow am I sore. There are a few exercises that I can't do, but I jog in place or modify it to fit my body, but I keep moving. It will be worth it in the end. We even took before pictures and plan to take after photos as well. I will post the two week results when they come. The work out reminds me of a saying I recently read - 'Sweat is fat crying'. My fat has cried A LOT lately!!! :D

God is so faithful because with His help, my eating is much more under control and I am following the plan. It hasn't been easy. Getting off of sugar the second time is difficult. I believe it might be more difficult than the first time. It doesn't help that I can't go outside right now (snowing) to get out of the house where the food is. However, I try to get into the word for my daily bread.

I am rereading the book Made to Crave and am getting more inspiration. I love this book. I am starting a Bible study in my home on Tuesdays using this book. I am excited about it. I know there are a lot of people who need this, like me.

The stress of life can knock me off course and shake things up every now and then, but God is my one Constant. There are a lot of things going on right now that have made we want to eat junk to stuff it all away. Food addiction really is like alcoholism. You think that it satisfying but truthfully, it lasts for only a moment and your stresses are still there, so you cram more stuff down your throat. If you are in this mode, please stop! It won't help. I know I have been there. The only thing gorging yourself will do is make you very fat and very unhealthy...cause let's face it, you never pig-out on carrot stick or celery! Oh no, it is that chocolate cake, cookies, ice cream, or whatever sugary delight you can find, that is going into your mouth. Stop the madness and go throw it away!  I know you paid good money for it. I know it would be a waste. But it will only adds to your waist!

Seriously, you were made for more! You are worth more! I tell this to myself every morning. Sometime there are tears...sometime there is confidence, but I know that I know, God has plans for me, and right now, I know getting healthy is my #1 priority. He loves me enough to help me through this, and He loves you enough to help you also. Trust Him. Rely on the God who created you and knows your weaknesses to get you through this. He never promised it would be easy, but He did promise He would be there with you. Please do not let go...I promise you there's hope. There is Victory! His Grace is Sufficient for today.

You may think you are alone in this battle, but you aren't. I am in that same boat with you. Let's get through today making healthier choices. You can do it, I believe in you!

Forever Relying on God's Grace,
Judi