Just a Thought

It's Monday and I am off of work. I have a few things I need to accomplish today, but thought I would share a some thoughts before I get going.

God showed me a few things about food and the way the world is more and more regarding it - Americans especially.

God gave us our bodys that require nutrition. He provided nutrition on this earth in many different varieties: vegetables, berries, fruit that grows on trees, meat, and etc. As a gift to us, He gave us tastebuds so we can enjoy our nutrition. I mean lets face it, if you couldn't taste the food and it was just another chore to do, would we do it as often as needed or how bland would life be? So to be able to savor the different flavors and textures of our food and drink is truly a gift. Yet, as we humans have done with most things, we have now turned our focus onto the flavor and enjoyment of the food and have forgotten about the nutritional side. We now eat to satisfy our tastebuds and have disregarded the important nutrients that are needed to keep our bodies in good health. In doing so, we have perverted the wonderful gift God has given us. He wanted us to have enjoyment as we nourish our bodies, but we are no longer nourishing them as we should. Instead, we have given our tastebuds control of what we eat and drink and that is why we find ourselves in the condition that we are in. It is time to get our priorities in check. It is time to get our bodies healthy and strong and not let our tastebuds rule our thoughts and eating habits. We gave them the control- it is time to take it back!

It is time to put our health and nutrition in proper perspective. AND it is time for us to whip our bodies into shape so we can do what He has called us to do!
~Judi

Fear will stop forward motion!

I am 94 pounds down...I have been on a plateau for 6 month now. My trainer is trying different things and exercises. I guess my body is adjusting to the new size and level. God is teaching me new things about myself. For instance, I have now come to realize, I have had a lot of fears: Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the dark, fear of heights, fear of not being important, fear of being too pretty (vanity I know - keep reading, I will explain), fear of being not pretty enough, fear of not being smart enough, fear of not sounding smart enough, fear of the unknown, fear of older two story houses (they could burn down and I would get stuck up there!) and many more ridiculous, irrational fears.

God is teaching me that these fears - as insane and irrational as they are- are stopping me from going forward in my weightloss and that to go forward and sustain my weightloss I need to get rid of them.  For example, my fear of being too pretty - I know right!!- is a true fear for me because...well, okay I am about to make a confession here - while I love and adore my husband, he is not the most - {deep breath} - affectionate. He doesn't necessarily think it important to tell me - out loud, with words - that I am attractive to him. But boy does he love to receive it! AND if you have ever read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts By: Gary Chapman - a book I highly recommend - you will know the that one of the love languages is "Words of Affirmation". That is my #1 love language and it is the one language my husband refuses - yes refuses, not just being stubborn, but absolutely resolved never to do. 

I am a moderately attractive woman and the thinner I become, the better I look - in my overly confident, not so humble opinion. Which is where the fear comes from. You see, others are telling me how great and pretty I look...not just women. It is hard for me for two reasons.

First, when it comes from a handsome man, -to be honest - I am tempted and wonder why my husband doesn't say those kind words.  I mean really, would it kill him? or I think 'he just doesn't love me enough to actually feel those words are true.' You know what I mean? Does he think it, but not enough to let me know? While another man feels so strongly that he tells me...Not that I think every man who tells me 'is in love with me!" I don't, but why doesn't my husband when he knows how important to my psyche it is. It is a dark place I hate to be in, and I don't like it! But God is working on my husband and me. 

Secondly, what if I fall back into the trap I was in before when I was thin. It was a dangerous, dark pit! Basically, my thought process was 'All I have are my looks; I am not smart, I am not athletic, all I have to get by is my cute figure and good looks'. AND boy did I use them. I can admit that shamefully I did use my cute blonde hair/blue-eyes look to manipulate situations to get what I wanted...and it worked 99% of the time - and still does. Because lets face it - the world loves a pretty face and favors them! God brought me out of that stinkin' thinkin' and showed me I was more than just my looks. I am smart and I don't have to be fearful or intimidated by others I view as intelligent or successful. However, it is so easy to go back to that thought process, when I am around highly educated people. It doesn't help that I work at a college, where there are many who have much more education than I.

I guess really, that this is the biggest fear that I need to get rid of. However, a close second would be the fear of failure. I don't want to fail at this. I give all glory of this weightloss to God who has been my strength and help. I don't want to disappoint Him.  Even worse have others think that God just wasn't enough for me, so He won't be enough for them. HE is enough! Wow! Just typing that really helped me see how ridiculous that is! Hahahaha! He is enough! ALWAYS!!! I am victorious in Him! AND you are too!

Okay, thats enough for today. I have walked 5 miles and posted on my blog, so now its time to spend some time cleaning my house! lol, it is messy and it doesn't look like anyone else is willing to clean it - so its up to me. I hope you have a great day and that just maybe I have helped you in some small way.

~Judi

Along the Way

I have had many pitfalls along the path to getting healthy; some hurdles to jump over. None more challenging as laziness. I could also say that I got too comfortable in where I am.  I got to the halfway mark (86 pounds) and thought, I can just coast from here. Truth of the matter is I just now realized I was going up hill, not down. I also came to realization, that I am only halfway up. I can't stall now, or I will slide back down.
I have been walking for exercise. I was challenged by my cousins to walk a Half Marathon. I accepted their proposition with a joyous, child-like gusto! I was so excited and made a goal to be down in the 210s before I had to do it. October 7, 2012 was the race. I was not down in the 210s. I was 8 pounds away. I could blame it on the fact that it took four rounds of antibiotics and numerous trips to the doctor. I could blame it on the months of being very weak and sick. But the truth is, I was comfortable in my new size. I also went on auto-pilot. I stopped focusing on my diet and lied to myself that I was in control. I started not  posting my food on MFP (MyFitnessPal.com). I would calculate the morning calories and wing-it on the rest of the day. I didn't gain weight, so I thought I was doing okay.  Oh how easy it was to fall back into the lies I was living before I started this journey. Old habits were quickly returning. Old thoughts and feelings were inundating me!
I became discouraged, down and tired. Very tired.  I knew I wasn't eating correctly. But didn't want to have to stop and think about it.
Anyway, the day of the race came. I was going to walk with my sister, Sara. She and I have the same pace when we walk, and we kept each other going. Three weeks prior we walked eleven miles to practice. We were confident we could do it. We learned what we needed along the way to keep us going, and what miles we would start to wain in speed. I personally, had two goals. One, to walk it under 3h45m and two, maintain a 16 min mile. I accomplished both goals! I finished in 3h33mins. and maintained a 16.18 min mile.
However, at mile 12, my legs wanted to quit. My calves started twitching and burning. My knees started to buckle under me. I had to truly focus on every step. Sara was skipping next to me...So I sent her on. I knew I was holding her back. She finished in 3h29mins (my secret wish to be under 3:30!). I was so proud of her for finishing so strong. God had to carry me over the finish line. However, I healed/recovered very quickly and she didn't.
Here's a help if you ever walk a half marathon, take the Gatorade as often as possible and bring protein and Shock Blocks with you for along the way. Walk at least 11 miles three weeks before the event to learn when and where to expect certain things, like when to eat carbs, protein and when to rest, jog or maintain. Also I used a anti-friction cream on my feet so they didn't get blisters.
I will do another one. I figure one a year is good! lol, no more than that. I will stick with the 5K and 10Ks.
God is good and life is much better when I walk in His strength.

Sorry for the delay...It's been a long road

I truly sat down with the intent to write down everything I have been going through emotionally and physically, and now that I have taken the time, nothing is coming to mind...nothing.  But I shall try.

Okay, I might as well start where I left off last time. I said I felt a cold coming on...HA! It was no cold. It was my long neglected leg wound from the motorcycle (large honking "scooter") that we got and I tried to ride, and fell when I came to a stop. By the way, that was before Mothers Day.  My leg was severely infected and the next day caused me great pain and was horribly hot, red and oozing puss. Yuck! I know! Since then I have been on four different antibiotics (which require me to eat lots of greek yogurt and eat everytime I take them!!!!!) Someone who is trying to avoid food is now told to eat it. I know that it wasn't a free pass to eat whatever. So I didn't. But it did make me go over on calories a lot. So I have been battling that. Plus I really wasn't to do strenuous exercise and keep off my leg to let it heal...So eat more, move less...not a good combo. However, God is faithful and I didn't gain weight and even managed to lose a few more pounds.

New total for weight loss is (drum roll please!) .... .... .... 84 pounds!

I am enjoying my new size, but am fighting getting too comfortable here. I have that much more +2 pounds to lose. I know this, but it is easy and OH so tempting to go out and buy new clothes.

I am struggling right now. With a lot of things. I am upset, stressed, aggravated, and so not in the mood to write this. I also have a lot of thoughts going through my mind and don't know exactly how to say them. I am going to stop right now and write them down on paper to organize my thoughts.

God is Working in Me!

Just a quick update. I have lost 76 pounds as of yesterday. I am still working out with my trainer Ryan at Hammer Bodies and eating as best as I can. I have attached before and after photos, if you care to look.

What a difference 45 pounds can make!!

I have a headache and dizzy feeling today, so I think I might be getting a cold, but I hope it will pass soon. It is almost the 4th of July and I don't want to miss out on all the fun.
Have a great holiday everyone...

53 lbs down!

As the title states I am 53 pounds down! I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for all the wonderful things he has taught me over the past few months. I have learned so much about myself and my relationship with food while taking this journey to better health. I still have a long way to go to get were I need to be, but I am that much closer to the prize.

New Year, New Attitude

It is a new year and that calls for a clean slate! If I have made a new resolution this year it is to GO FOR IT! I need to forget the past failures and press on to my goal. Also, while I am going for it, I WILL keep a good attitude! Remain in JOY! I have a tendency to get stuck in a rut of muck and mire and lose hope. Not this time. I am going to keep my focus on CHRIST and let him help me achieve my goal.
Too often I take things into my own hands and try to run with them. It amounts to the equivalent of a cripple running with scissors; I don't get very far and I seem to always end up hurt and worse off than when I started.

So if you are ready to press on for the prize with me, let me know! We can keep each other accountable.

My prize is to reach 80 pounds lost this year. I lost 40 last year and want to step it up a bit and really and truly practice what I know to be true and right. Which is Eat Healthy, Be Healthy and Move!

You should join me! Isn't it time for you to be all that Christ has called you to be? I know it won't be easy ~2011 proved that!~ but it is so worth it!

So to start the year off right - eat a salad for supper! ~don't pour on the dressing! Don't pour on the cheese and croutons! Do fill it with raw spinach, green leafy lettuce, carrots and cucumbers.~
And add 4oz of lean meat.

~TIP~

You have heard the saying, "You aren't supposed to wear white after Labor Day". Well, my nutritionalist has told me, "Don't EAT white after labor's done (when I get off work)". White being sugar, flour, and starches; basically all white carbs are out after 4:30 for me. Carbs from fruits and vegetables are limited.

Here is to a Happy, Healthy, Productive and Prosperous 2012!

In Christ,

Judi

Merry Christmas

Well, it is a little late, but since no one reads this anyway it won't matter.

When you are trying to lose weight, the holidays are hard! I can't even tell you how hard it is to deny temptations, when they are bombarding you all day, every minute, every single second of the day! I can say the more you say NO, the more empowered you get. But then Fudge comes along and totally melts your resolve!

I love fudge. It is smooth, creamy, chocolaty and full of delicious savory flavors that satisfy my very happy taste buds!! I feel it from my head to my toes. A good creamy dark chocolate pecan fudge can make my toes curl. I am drooling as I type this and I have had enough to sink a ship!!

Oh fudge! How I Love/Hate thee! My hips scream out thy name! My scale curses thy presence!

To top it off, typing this blog has been the most exercise my body has gotten this whole week off! Well, that isn't exactly true, but very close.

Enough is enough! Time to get going. Time to stop sitting and watching LMN movies and get moving. But what should I do? It is way too cold outside to do anything outdoors. Isn't it? Well maybe not. I could bundle up! I also have an elliptical downstairs...in the cold,dark, dank basement.

Okay, if I can do it, (and I will!) then you can do it!  I will lose at least a pound before the end of the year! Not just water weight either! lol, cause that would be too easy.

Well here is too a happy, healthy and adventurous new year!

Turkey Sliders

I made these last night and everyone loved them! They were quite scrumptious, if I do say so myself. I wouldn’t have put the ingredients together, but they were quite good and my boys ate them up! Philip said he didn’t mind eating healthy as long as it tastes good like this did. I took that as a complement.
So enjoy!

Turkey Sliders
Topping

    * 1 cucumber, diced
    * 1/2 cup crumbled mozzerella
    * 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
    * 1 teaspoon fresh mint leaves, minced
    * 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
    * Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

Mix all together and chill while making burgers.


 Burgers

    * 1 1/2 pounds ground turkey
    * 1 teaspoon garlic powder
    * 1 teaspoon onion powder
    * salt & pepper
    * Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls or Whole wheat flat bread (100 calories)

Cut rolls in half to make the buns and set aside. Mix ingredients with the turkey. Take little chunks at a time a press into small slider patties. Cook in a pan or on the GF grill until done. I spray the pan with olive oil first. When burgers are cook place on the buns and add the topping.


Makes about 18 sliders.

What If....

Let's begin with my list of "What ifs":

1.    What if I can't do it?

2.    What if it hurts?

3.    What if it requires more than I have?

4.    What if I fall and embarrass myself?

5.    What if others see my failure and stop liking me?

6.    What if I FAIL?

The list could go on and on, but those listed were my biggest "What Ifs". They were the heart of everything I thought; therefore, they were what I allowed to direct my life. By living and allowing the "What Ifs" to guide my life, I stopped living. I stopped trying and started thinking I can't, so why even try. Things became impossible to me. I permitted the "What Ifs" to cripple my progress in almost every aspect of my life.

I am sure I am not alone. What “What Ifs” have you permitted, tolerated and deemed acceptable, to lead your life? Get a pen and write this down:

I have allowed the following to rule my life:

What if…

1.    _________________________________________________

2.    I ________________________________________________

3.    It _______________________________________________

4.    _________________________________________________

5.    _________________________________________________

Are you accepting the fact that you have not been doing what you know you are supposed to be doing because of fear? I realize I have been.

So here are some “What Ifs” I have found worth trying (Trust me, I have to review these often!)

- What if we turn our “What ifs” around and restated them.

1.    What if I can do it?

2.    What if it feels good?

3.    What if it doesn’t require more than I have? Or What if it does require more than I have, but GOD provides what I am lacking?

4.    What if I stand strong?

5.    What if others see my Success and I stop needing the approval of man?

6.    What if I SUCCEED? Would that be so bad?!

- What if we started to believe Philippians 1:6 And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. [AMP]

What a confidence He has given us! He is faithful! He always has been, and always will be. The problem is we stop trusting His abilities and start trusting our own. We stop relying on Him and start counting on ourselves. Like we have any ability apart from God. Seriously?! He made us. He gave us breath. He gave us Life! I mean, really….Is there anyone who knows us better? Is there anyone more able to help us? 

The truth of the matter is, and it is one of my largest “What If” hurdles to get over, I am afraid of the #6 “What if” restatements. You know the one that says, What if I succeed?. What if I do? I will then be in unknown territory and that terrifies me. Why? Because that brings on more “What ifs”.  It seems to be a vicious cycle.

Except there again, I get my eyes off focus. I start relying and depending on my own abilities and knowledge. Oh what a foolish person I am! I need to stop fearing the unknown; stop trusting my own abilities; stop “What If”ing my way through life. I need to listen to my heavenly Father and trust His spirit to guide me, strengthen me and truly start LIVING!

The following verses are powerful to me. I hope they bring you comfort and to the same conclusion that I just stated.

Psalms 23:4 - Even though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no evil, for you are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. [NIV]

What does this verse speak to you? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. [NKJV]

Did you get that last part? A Sound Mind! Not a mind that is confused or fearful. But a mind that knows the will of God. A mind that has knowledge and the clarity of how to use it!

Here are some synonyms for the word sound: good, whole, sturdy, unblemished, perfect, normal, fit, and my two favorites – healthy and thorough.

In the lyrics of Walk On the Water by Brit Nicole are some powerful words:

So get out and let your fear fall to the ground

No time to waste, Don't wait, Don't you turn around and miss out on everything you were made for.  I know you're not sure, so you play it safe, Try to run away. If you take that first step into the unknown,  He won't let you go!

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?

Seriously, What do you have to lose? What are you waiting for?

Eat well, exercise, drink water, sleep, & repeat! and the weight stays on.

I have not blogged in a while. It has been a rough week. I have lost the drive to really push. Don't get me wrong I am not eating the wrong things, just not to motivated to workout. When I do work out I don't lose weight, when I don't workout I do. But when I do work out I feel better and have more energy, and when I don't...I don't. Don't judge. It would make sense for me to work out to feel better and then the weight will come off...easy for you to say when you aren't facing the fact that I HAVE worked out for far toooooooooooooo long and the weight HAS NOT dropped. I have been on this plateau way tooooooo long. It has been three months and I have only lost 5!! lbs. What?!?! I do what is right and have stayed the course. Why isn't it dropping.

Tears are forming in my eyes right now as I think about how hard I have tried. I guess the past two weeks I have kind of given up with the doing anything extra.

Somebody help me!! I need to get out of this body!! I really need someone to come over and make me do it. I just don't have the strength right now to do it when there are so many things to do around the house. I rather not eat anything than exercise. Not good I know...

French Proverb

"Gourmets dig their graves with their teeth."

Had a great week last week. This week is going pretty good also. Have lost weight and am almost at my next mountain peek! Been walking a lot lately, but haven't had a chance to do the elliptical because my knee is acting up on me. Aggravating to be ready to do something only to have to stop for mechanical problems! This journey is hard enough, now this has added insult to injury! But I keep on plugging.

Been writing down everything I eat and all my exercise. It has helped me a great deal. Was tempted last night while shopping to buy some Keebler Grasshoppers; Dark Chocolate minty goodness! I figured "2 a day wouldn't hurt me! I have been good!" but then I remembered a line from the book I am reading called, "Made to Crave", that stated any reward that isn't beneficial to your health or healthy living isn't a reward at all, it is a stumbling block. I knew if I bought them I would eat more than just "2" a day. In fact I am pretty sure the whole box would have been gone before I got home. I was desperately craving chocolate!! So I didn't buy them. I reassured myself that, "I don't deserve what those would do to me!" I would have became a chocolate monster and ate every single one of them. Let me restate that; I would have inhaled every single one of them. I wanted to right there in the store!! It took every ounce of will-power I had, which wasn't much - Praise God, He stepped in and gave me strength - to put those cookies back on the shelf and walk away. It would have tasted good for a second or three, but this morning I wouldn't have felt good and the shame would be overwhelming. Instead, I feel pretty good and my body is still on the right path. And I truly didn't miss out on anything! I went home and had a small Andés Mint instead. It satisfied my tastebuds and didn't ruin everything I have been working towards.

A wise person stated - "We never repent of having eaten too little." - I try to keep that in mind because I was made for more than this!

Encouragement for the Soul

“I freed a thousand slaves.  I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.” Harriet Tubman

I was a slave to my food addiction, but I didn't know it.  I would do whatever it wanted me to do. I never said no, but always thought I was in control. Some control, I coward in front of cake. I whined for lack of chocolate. I was no match for the power of food, and had no idea what a stronghold it was to me.

However,

I am freed in the name of Jesus Christ, who is my strength!! I don't have to bow to my addictions anymore. I no longer have to feel ashamed and weak. I am not strong in my own strength but in the Creator of all things, Jehovah God. He is my strength; He is my provider; He is my healer. He has broken my chains of slavery, for I was in bondage to food, and has set me free. 

Free to live my life on purpose! With a purpose! For a purpose! Praise be to Him alone!

-Just had to share that! 

Party!! what to have that I can eat...

My son Timothy graduated tonight. So we had a small party for him. That is probably the hardest part for me in my weightloss journey (wlj). I never know what kind of food to fix or serve and celebrations call for cakes! There needs to be a healthier solution. I did get cupcakes so there were single servings. I ate 3/4th of it. But I had fried chicken and potato salad also! It was quick to buy and easy. I didn't have time to fix anything myself,so I took the easy way out.
Everyone liked it, and Tim was blessed and had a great time. I can't believe how grown up he is!
What would be a good alternative to cake?

Truth

I heard a great saying today and thought it was worth sharing.

"I am not going to miss out on something great just because it might also be hard"

Losing weight is one of the hardest things I have had to do. However it is also the best things I have had to do. It is coming off way too slowly for my liking, but it is coming off. It has been hard, very hard, and at times painful. But I feel so much better and at least I know I am doing all I can.

While it hasn't been easy, it has been easier knowing I have people who support me through this. I am so thankful for my sister, friends, and for my trainer, Ryan. I am not sure I would keep going without them! I gain so much encouragement from them.

Also I have to add Marc has been my best supporter! He doesn't know the right things to say all the time, but I know he means well and that he believes in me. I also know if I never lost another pound, he would still love me. Nothing better than that!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Back on track!

Okay, I am rid of "Old Judi" mentality and have gotten myself back in a good frame of mind.  Went to the Fitness Center and road the elliptical for 2 minutes longer. Up to 17 minutes!! One of which was going backwards. Not to pat myself on the back, but "Yeah Me!!" Tomorrow I will go for 20 minutes...I will let you know how that goes.

I haven't weighed myself yet (been about three weeks now) but I am assuming I am at the 278 mark. I hope. I will find out tomorrow morning. Trying to stay positive!

What would be a healthy dinner for my family and I, that the fam would actually eat? Any Suggestions?

Another week down!

Haven't weighed myself in a while, too scared of what the blasted scale will say! I know, I know, I have been working hard and eating right, but sometimes the scale doesn't agree. It has been a little rough lately...not to stay on my diet, but to have hope that all I am doing is actually accomplishing anything. My clothes still fit the same. I have such a long weigh (pun intended) to go, and I know that it will take a while to get there, but I should be losing more than 1 pound a month!! Which is what it feels like.

However, I will press on!
So to help myself get in the right frame of mind, I have decided to list some good things about working out and eating healthy. They are:
 1- I can go up stairs without embarrassing myself by breathing hard  or stopping midway up cause I can't breath.
2- I walk faster and with a longer stride.
3- I am stronger
4- I can squat down and rise back up without holding on to something or falling on my face!!
5- I don't think about food all the time now
6- I don't fear sitting on things and having them collapse from my weight near as much.
7- Confidence is coming back
8- I have met some truly great people along this journey, who have either helped me by going there with me, giving me guidance, and/or encouraging me to keep going.

To anyone reading this who doesn't know me, I hope you will start your own journey and share it with me. It isn't easy, but it is soooooo worth it!