STOP!

If you know me well, you know I hit every RED light there is! Lights see me coming and turn yellow then red immediately.  I don't know why, it just seems I am a magnet for them. I think maybe God has a message in this for me, but what? It seems everything I do - whether it is housework, writing my book, going on a trip, helping someone, and yes even losing weight - or try to do, I run into a giant Stop sign! 

Today, my van is on it's last breath and I just needed it to take me to work and back. I literally had to stop at every light in Union. Six of them in a three mile stretch. My van tends to stop breathing and chokes on me when I come to a stop. I have to turn off the car and restart it. ANNOYING!!! On the trip home from work, I kept asking God why He was allowing the lights to turn red on me, no answer came. However, while I continued to hit red light after red light, my van never died. Which is an amazing feat all in itself.  Yet, I still whined...and whined. When I pulled into the driveway and my van coughed, but didn't stop breathing, God let me know - I made it home! 

Indeed I did. I humbly apologized for being a whinny baby and started saying Thanks. 

I have been a BIG WHINNY BABY a lot lately!  Thankful for what I have, but very discontent. Especially with where I am in my weightloss. I see the photo down below of me three months ago and 35 pounds lost. That was, again, THREE months ago. Now I am only 40 pounds down. Thats 5 pounds in 3 months! Really?! Seriously, I have busted my butt, but my butt won't come off! Neither will my gut! Stoplight! Don't get me wrong, I am not going to stop. What I am going to do is stop stressing over it. It has to come off eventually!

I have even started jogging while I walk. Stoplight! My knees are not liking it at all and you can forget about my lower back even wanting to do anything the next day. But I will prevail! I feel better - minus the knees and lower back - and know I am doing all I can to do. Really?! Am I? 

No, I should walk more. Twice a week, really doesn't cut it. I rationalize that it is now dark when I get home and that is is freezing cold in the morning. I have an elliptical downstairs I could ride anytime, but do I --NO! Why not? - I have no answer to that. Which is an answer all in itself - laziness! Not enough motivation! Really? Seriously, 275 lbs isn't enough motivation?

Well.....GO already!