Just a Thought

It's Monday and I am off of work. I have a few things I need to accomplish today, but thought I would share a some thoughts before I get going.

God showed me a few things about food and the way the world is more and more regarding it - Americans especially.

God gave us our bodys that require nutrition. He provided nutrition on this earth in many different varieties: vegetables, berries, fruit that grows on trees, meat, and etc. As a gift to us, He gave us tastebuds so we can enjoy our nutrition. I mean lets face it, if you couldn't taste the food and it was just another chore to do, would we do it as often as needed or how bland would life be? So to be able to savor the different flavors and textures of our food and drink is truly a gift. Yet, as we humans have done with most things, we have now turned our focus onto the flavor and enjoyment of the food and have forgotten about the nutritional side. We now eat to satisfy our tastebuds and have disregarded the important nutrients that are needed to keep our bodies in good health. In doing so, we have perverted the wonderful gift God has given us. He wanted us to have enjoyment as we nourish our bodies, but we are no longer nourishing them as we should. Instead, we have given our tastebuds control of what we eat and drink and that is why we find ourselves in the condition that we are in. It is time to get our priorities in check. It is time to get our bodies healthy and strong and not let our tastebuds rule our thoughts and eating habits. We gave them the control- it is time to take it back!

It is time to put our health and nutrition in proper perspective. AND it is time for us to whip our bodies into shape so we can do what He has called us to do!
~Judi

Fear will stop forward motion!

I am 94 pounds down...I have been on a plateau for 6 month now. My trainer is trying different things and exercises. I guess my body is adjusting to the new size and level. God is teaching me new things about myself. For instance, I have now come to realize, I have had a lot of fears: Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the dark, fear of heights, fear of not being important, fear of being too pretty (vanity I know - keep reading, I will explain), fear of being not pretty enough, fear of not being smart enough, fear of not sounding smart enough, fear of the unknown, fear of older two story houses (they could burn down and I would get stuck up there!) and many more ridiculous, irrational fears.

God is teaching me that these fears - as insane and irrational as they are- are stopping me from going forward in my weightloss and that to go forward and sustain my weightloss I need to get rid of them.  For example, my fear of being too pretty - I know right!!- is a true fear for me because...well, okay I am about to make a confession here - while I love and adore my husband, he is not the most - {deep breath} - affectionate. He doesn't necessarily think it important to tell me - out loud, with words - that I am attractive to him. But boy does he love to receive it! AND if you have ever read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts By: Gary Chapman - a book I highly recommend - you will know the that one of the love languages is "Words of Affirmation". That is my #1 love language and it is the one language my husband refuses - yes refuses, not just being stubborn, but absolutely resolved never to do. 

I am a moderately attractive woman and the thinner I become, the better I look - in my overly confident, not so humble opinion. Which is where the fear comes from. You see, others are telling me how great and pretty I look...not just women. It is hard for me for two reasons.

First, when it comes from a handsome man, -to be honest - I am tempted and wonder why my husband doesn't say those kind words.  I mean really, would it kill him? or I think 'he just doesn't love me enough to actually feel those words are true.' You know what I mean? Does he think it, but not enough to let me know? While another man feels so strongly that he tells me...Not that I think every man who tells me 'is in love with me!" I don't, but why doesn't my husband when he knows how important to my psyche it is. It is a dark place I hate to be in, and I don't like it! But God is working on my husband and me. 

Secondly, what if I fall back into the trap I was in before when I was thin. It was a dangerous, dark pit! Basically, my thought process was 'All I have are my looks; I am not smart, I am not athletic, all I have to get by is my cute figure and good looks'. AND boy did I use them. I can admit that shamefully I did use my cute blonde hair/blue-eyes look to manipulate situations to get what I wanted...and it worked 99% of the time - and still does. Because lets face it - the world loves a pretty face and favors them! God brought me out of that stinkin' thinkin' and showed me I was more than just my looks. I am smart and I don't have to be fearful or intimidated by others I view as intelligent or successful. However, it is so easy to go back to that thought process, when I am around highly educated people. It doesn't help that I work at a college, where there are many who have much more education than I.

I guess really, that this is the biggest fear that I need to get rid of. However, a close second would be the fear of failure. I don't want to fail at this. I give all glory of this weightloss to God who has been my strength and help. I don't want to disappoint Him.  Even worse have others think that God just wasn't enough for me, so He won't be enough for them. HE is enough! Wow! Just typing that really helped me see how ridiculous that is! Hahahaha! He is enough! ALWAYS!!! I am victorious in Him! AND you are too!

Okay, thats enough for today. I have walked 5 miles and posted on my blog, so now its time to spend some time cleaning my house! lol, it is messy and it doesn't look like anyone else is willing to clean it - so its up to me. I hope you have a great day and that just maybe I have helped you in some small way.

~Judi

Along the Way

I have had many pitfalls along the path to getting healthy; some hurdles to jump over. None more challenging as laziness. I could also say that I got too comfortable in where I am.  I got to the halfway mark (86 pounds) and thought, I can just coast from here. Truth of the matter is I just now realized I was going up hill, not down. I also came to realization, that I am only halfway up. I can't stall now, or I will slide back down.
I have been walking for exercise. I was challenged by my cousins to walk a Half Marathon. I accepted their proposition with a joyous, child-like gusto! I was so excited and made a goal to be down in the 210s before I had to do it. October 7, 2012 was the race. I was not down in the 210s. I was 8 pounds away. I could blame it on the fact that it took four rounds of antibiotics and numerous trips to the doctor. I could blame it on the months of being very weak and sick. But the truth is, I was comfortable in my new size. I also went on auto-pilot. I stopped focusing on my diet and lied to myself that I was in control. I started not  posting my food on MFP (MyFitnessPal.com). I would calculate the morning calories and wing-it on the rest of the day. I didn't gain weight, so I thought I was doing okay.  Oh how easy it was to fall back into the lies I was living before I started this journey. Old habits were quickly returning. Old thoughts and feelings were inundating me!
I became discouraged, down and tired. Very tired.  I knew I wasn't eating correctly. But didn't want to have to stop and think about it.
Anyway, the day of the race came. I was going to walk with my sister, Sara. She and I have the same pace when we walk, and we kept each other going. Three weeks prior we walked eleven miles to practice. We were confident we could do it. We learned what we needed along the way to keep us going, and what miles we would start to wain in speed. I personally, had two goals. One, to walk it under 3h45m and two, maintain a 16 min mile. I accomplished both goals! I finished in 3h33mins. and maintained a 16.18 min mile.
However, at mile 12, my legs wanted to quit. My calves started twitching and burning. My knees started to buckle under me. I had to truly focus on every step. Sara was skipping next to me...So I sent her on. I knew I was holding her back. She finished in 3h29mins (my secret wish to be under 3:30!). I was so proud of her for finishing so strong. God had to carry me over the finish line. However, I healed/recovered very quickly and she didn't.
Here's a help if you ever walk a half marathon, take the Gatorade as often as possible and bring protein and Shock Blocks with you for along the way. Walk at least 11 miles three weeks before the event to learn when and where to expect certain things, like when to eat carbs, protein and when to rest, jog or maintain. Also I used a anti-friction cream on my feet so they didn't get blisters.
I will do another one. I figure one a year is good! lol, no more than that. I will stick with the 5K and 10Ks.
God is good and life is much better when I walk in His strength.

Sorry for the delay...It's been a long road

I truly sat down with the intent to write down everything I have been going through emotionally and physically, and now that I have taken the time, nothing is coming to mind...nothing.  But I shall try.

Okay, I might as well start where I left off last time. I said I felt a cold coming on...HA! It was no cold. It was my long neglected leg wound from the motorcycle (large honking "scooter") that we got and I tried to ride, and fell when I came to a stop. By the way, that was before Mothers Day.  My leg was severely infected and the next day caused me great pain and was horribly hot, red and oozing puss. Yuck! I know! Since then I have been on four different antibiotics (which require me to eat lots of greek yogurt and eat everytime I take them!!!!!) Someone who is trying to avoid food is now told to eat it. I know that it wasn't a free pass to eat whatever. So I didn't. But it did make me go over on calories a lot. So I have been battling that. Plus I really wasn't to do strenuous exercise and keep off my leg to let it heal...So eat more, move less...not a good combo. However, God is faithful and I didn't gain weight and even managed to lose a few more pounds.

New total for weight loss is (drum roll please!) .... .... .... 84 pounds!

I am enjoying my new size, but am fighting getting too comfortable here. I have that much more +2 pounds to lose. I know this, but it is easy and OH so tempting to go out and buy new clothes.

I am struggling right now. With a lot of things. I am upset, stressed, aggravated, and so not in the mood to write this. I also have a lot of thoughts going through my mind and don't know exactly how to say them. I am going to stop right now and write them down on paper to organize my thoughts.

God is Working in Me!

Just a quick update. I have lost 76 pounds as of yesterday. I am still working out with my trainer Ryan at Hammer Bodies and eating as best as I can. I have attached before and after photos, if you care to look.

What a difference 45 pounds can make!!

I have a headache and dizzy feeling today, so I think I might be getting a cold, but I hope it will pass soon. It is almost the 4th of July and I don't want to miss out on all the fun.
Have a great holiday everyone...

Been a while

Well, to God be the glory, I am down 62 lbs! That is right. If this chocaholic, food addict can change her ways, by the grace of God, anyone can! I feel like I have been set free. And I have been. Today I went to eat a cookie that someone set out in the breakroom at work. I took a bite and thought this isn't satisfying, but I took another and knew, it wasn't worth losing my peace of mind over. I threw it away! Me, Judi Neeley, threw a chocolate chip candied cook in the trash can! A year ago I don't think I would have had the will or the power to do such a thing. God is stronger, when I am weak. God is stronger than any addiction I have. He is my light and my salvation and my STRONGHOLD! I love the transformation my body is making. Slowly but surely the weight is coming off. My muscles are getting stronger, and my appetite is getting weaker and surprisingly my tastebuds are changing towards the healthier, "greener" foods.

Also I am training for my first half marathon in October. I won't be running it, but I want to finish under 3.5 hours. I plan on keeping a 16 min. mile. I have been able to maintain a 17 min. mile for 5 miles. I know I will do it. I hope to be down in the 210's by then and that will help tremendously!

53 lbs down!

As the title states I am 53 pounds down! I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for all the wonderful things he has taught me over the past few months. I have learned so much about myself and my relationship with food while taking this journey to better health. I still have a long way to go to get were I need to be, but I am that much closer to the prize.

Food Conversion Chart

After a little research and going to different sites I put together on One page an easy conversion chart for cooking with dry goods and fluids. I hope this helps you. Click on the image and it will get bigger.

By the way, I am 1.5 pounds away from my first 50 lbs lost! I am so excited. God has been so good!! Just two more times of losing 50 lb.s and I will be where I need to be.

Energized!

WOW a lot has gone on since I last posted!

First (thing I can think of not chronologically), I have started using MyFitnessPal.com . It is the most awesome site for helping with weightloss that is totally free!!! FREE! I am a little excited about it. You can log your food and exercise and they have a huge database. Plus  using the android (or iPhone) App you can scan the UPC and it will plug it into the database! So awesome. They have a blog where you can talk with other people who are also getting healthier. You plug in your stats and they come up with a plan for you to reach your goal. I use it all the time and 

Second, since the start of using it I have lost 10 lbs - that's right you heard me 10 lbs! 

Boo Yah! Feels so good to be off that plateau! No going back. God has been so faithful to keep me on track and providing the tools for me to reach my goal. Just today as I was driving home from my work-out with Ryan, I started rationalizing giving in to my craving for ice cream. Kept saying to myself I would get the low-fat yogurt, but truth is I knew what I wanted and I would have gotten it. However, God had other plans. About 1/4 a mile away, I was listening to Joy FM and one of my motivation songs came on...Josh Wilson started singing "I Refuse". Immediately I knew what God wanted me to do...Keep on driving! He is my best help. If it weren't for Him, I wouldn't have even began this journey.

Third, I have injured my shoulder, which means I can do all the exercises on the plan. But we (Ryan P. and I) did others and I have started cycling! Which, by the way, is a lot harder than it looks.

Fourth, speaking of craving, I have started a Bible Study at my church on Wednesday nights using the Bible (of course) and the book "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. It is a wonderful book that I think I have talked about on here before, so I won't go on about it, except to say if you need the help and motivation read the book!

Ginger Chicken Soup Ginger has anti-inflammatory properties and can also calm an upset stomach. 

Ingredients

• 1 onion, sliced
• 2 celery stalks, chopped
• 8 ounces unpeeled scrubbed ginger, cut into 1/2"-thick slices
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed
• 1/4 tsp. Oregano & Thyme
• 1/4 tsp. Fennel Seed & Rosemary
• 1/2 Carrot chopped
• 1 pound Chicken breast
• 5 chicken thighs skinless and no bones
• Kosher salt
• Cilantro leaves chopped

Preparation

• Combine the first 5 ingredients in a large heavy pot. Add chicken, placing breasts on top. Add 6 quarts water (preferably filtered or spring water); bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Cover with lid slightly ajar. Reduce heat to low; simmer until chicken breasts are just cooked through, about 30 minutes. Transfer chicken breasts to a plate; let cool, then cover and chill. Continue to simmer soup, uncovered, until broth is fully flavored, about 2 ½ hours longer. Return breasts to soup to rewarm, about 5 minutes.
• Remove chicken from broth. When cool enough to handle, coarsely shred meat; discard skin and bones. Place a fine-mesh sieve over another large pot; strain broth, discarding solids in strainer (you should have about 8 cups broth). Season with salt.

• nutritional information

  One serving contains: Calories (kcal) 151.3 %Calories from Fat 16.9
  Fat (g) 2.8 Saturated Fat (g) 0.8
  Cholesterol (mg) 67.7
  Carbohydrates (g) 3.0 Dietary Fiber (g) 0.5 Total Sugars (g) 1.0 Net Carbs (g) 2.5
  Protein (g) 24.7
  Sodium (mg) 128.9

Insanity!

So, I have these sons that wanted the work out DVD's Insanity by Beachbodies for Christmas. Of course my husband and I got it for them...then they started saying "WE" need to start doing this together and "WE" will start on Jan. 9. I was amused and thought to myself, 'yeah right! I can't do that! It is way over my fat body's level'. Well, my wonderful sons didn't let me cop out and have held me to it. This is the fourth day and wow am I sore. There are a few exercises that I can't do, but I jog in place or modify it to fit my body, but I keep moving. It will be worth it in the end. We even took before pictures and plan to take after photos as well. I will post the two week results when they come. The work out reminds me of a saying I recently read - 'Sweat is fat crying'. My fat has cried A LOT lately!!! :D

God is so faithful because with His help, my eating is much more under control and I am following the plan. It hasn't been easy. Getting off of sugar the second time is difficult. I believe it might be more difficult than the first time. It doesn't help that I can't go outside right now (snowing) to get out of the house where the food is. However, I try to get into the word for my daily bread.

I am rereading the book Made to Crave and am getting more inspiration. I love this book. I am starting a Bible study in my home on Tuesdays using this book. I am excited about it. I know there are a lot of people who need this, like me.

The stress of life can knock me off course and shake things up every now and then, but God is my one Constant. There are a lot of things going on right now that have made we want to eat junk to stuff it all away. Food addiction really is like alcoholism. You think that it satisfying but truthfully, it lasts for only a moment and your stresses are still there, so you cram more stuff down your throat. If you are in this mode, please stop! It won't help. I know I have been there. The only thing gorging yourself will do is make you very fat and very unhealthy...cause let's face it, you never pig-out on carrot stick or celery! Oh no, it is that chocolate cake, cookies, ice cream, or whatever sugary delight you can find, that is going into your mouth. Stop the madness and go throw it away!  I know you paid good money for it. I know it would be a waste. But it will only adds to your waist!

Seriously, you were made for more! You are worth more! I tell this to myself every morning. Sometime there are tears...sometime there is confidence, but I know that I know, God has plans for me, and right now, I know getting healthy is my #1 priority. He loves me enough to help me through this, and He loves you enough to help you also. Trust Him. Rely on the God who created you and knows your weaknesses to get you through this. He never promised it would be easy, but He did promise He would be there with you. Please do not let go...I promise you there's hope. There is Victory! His Grace is Sufficient for today.

You may think you are alone in this battle, but you aren't. I am in that same boat with you. Let's get through today making healthier choices. You can do it, I believe in you!

Forever Relying on God's Grace,
Judi

New Year, New Attitude

It is a new year and that calls for a clean slate! If I have made a new resolution this year it is to GO FOR IT! I need to forget the past failures and press on to my goal. Also, while I am going for it, I WILL keep a good attitude! Remain in JOY! I have a tendency to get stuck in a rut of muck and mire and lose hope. Not this time. I am going to keep my focus on CHRIST and let him help me achieve my goal.
Too often I take things into my own hands and try to run with them. It amounts to the equivalent of a cripple running with scissors; I don't get very far and I seem to always end up hurt and worse off than when I started.

So if you are ready to press on for the prize with me, let me know! We can keep each other accountable.

My prize is to reach 80 pounds lost this year. I lost 40 last year and want to step it up a bit and really and truly practice what I know to be true and right. Which is Eat Healthy, Be Healthy and Move!

You should join me! Isn't it time for you to be all that Christ has called you to be? I know it won't be easy ~2011 proved that!~ but it is so worth it!

So to start the year off right - eat a salad for supper! ~don't pour on the dressing! Don't pour on the cheese and croutons! Do fill it with raw spinach, green leafy lettuce, carrots and cucumbers.~
And add 4oz of lean meat.

~TIP~

You have heard the saying, "You aren't supposed to wear white after Labor Day". Well, my nutritionalist has told me, "Don't EAT white after labor's done (when I get off work)". White being sugar, flour, and starches; basically all white carbs are out after 4:30 for me. Carbs from fruits and vegetables are limited.

Here is to a Happy, Healthy, Productive and Prosperous 2012!

In Christ,

Judi

Merry Christmas

Well, it is a little late, but since no one reads this anyway it won't matter.

When you are trying to lose weight, the holidays are hard! I can't even tell you how hard it is to deny temptations, when they are bombarding you all day, every minute, every single second of the day! I can say the more you say NO, the more empowered you get. But then Fudge comes along and totally melts your resolve!

I love fudge. It is smooth, creamy, chocolaty and full of delicious savory flavors that satisfy my very happy taste buds!! I feel it from my head to my toes. A good creamy dark chocolate pecan fudge can make my toes curl. I am drooling as I type this and I have had enough to sink a ship!!

Oh fudge! How I Love/Hate thee! My hips scream out thy name! My scale curses thy presence!

To top it off, typing this blog has been the most exercise my body has gotten this whole week off! Well, that isn't exactly true, but very close.

Enough is enough! Time to get going. Time to stop sitting and watching LMN movies and get moving. But what should I do? It is way too cold outside to do anything outdoors. Isn't it? Well maybe not. I could bundle up! I also have an elliptical downstairs...in the cold,dark, dank basement.

Okay, if I can do it, (and I will!) then you can do it!  I will lose at least a pound before the end of the year! Not just water weight either! lol, cause that would be too easy.

Well here is too a happy, healthy and adventurous new year!

Turkey Sliders

I made these last night and everyone loved them! They were quite scrumptious, if I do say so myself. I wouldn’t have put the ingredients together, but they were quite good and my boys ate them up! Philip said he didn’t mind eating healthy as long as it tastes good like this did. I took that as a complement.
So enjoy!

Turkey Sliders
Topping

    * 1 cucumber, diced
    * 1/2 cup crumbled mozzerella
    * 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
    * 1 teaspoon fresh mint leaves, minced
    * 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
    * Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

Mix all together and chill while making burgers.


 Burgers

    * 1 1/2 pounds ground turkey
    * 1 teaspoon garlic powder
    * 1 teaspoon onion powder
    * salt & pepper
    * Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls or Whole wheat flat bread (100 calories)

Cut rolls in half to make the buns and set aside. Mix ingredients with the turkey. Take little chunks at a time a press into small slider patties. Cook in a pan or on the GF grill until done. I spray the pan with olive oil first. When burgers are cook place on the buns and add the topping.


Makes about 18 sliders.

New Recipe

Okay I know this might sound sickening to some of you, but I have a new recipe for Turkey Sliders! It involves Hummus and Cucumbers. They are low in fat and calories, so it is good for me to eat. And who knows, I might just like them. Which would be a plus since I have not been making smart choices lately. Not that I am eating bad for me foods, just not eating food period because I don't know what to eat that will satisfy my silly stubborn tastebuds! 

Oh and I have decided that laying off of chocolate for two weeks (oh my gosh!!!!!!) will be the best thing for me. I just need to stay away from sugar period to get my flavor savors in check and cleansed.

Will be walking tonight hopefully and maybe some elliptical. Need to start whipping up on my fat! If it don't like it, it can just leave! (please let it leave!!!)

Anyway, if the Sliders work out I will post the recipe.  Stay tuned...

What If....

Let's begin with my list of "What ifs":

1.    What if I can't do it?

2.    What if it hurts?

3.    What if it requires more than I have?

4.    What if I fall and embarrass myself?

5.    What if others see my failure and stop liking me?

6.    What if I FAIL?

The list could go on and on, but those listed were my biggest "What Ifs". They were the heart of everything I thought; therefore, they were what I allowed to direct my life. By living and allowing the "What Ifs" to guide my life, I stopped living. I stopped trying and started thinking I can't, so why even try. Things became impossible to me. I permitted the "What Ifs" to cripple my progress in almost every aspect of my life.

I am sure I am not alone. What “What Ifs” have you permitted, tolerated and deemed acceptable, to lead your life? Get a pen and write this down:

I have allowed the following to rule my life:

What if…

1.    _________________________________________________

2.    I ________________________________________________

3.    It _______________________________________________

4.    _________________________________________________

5.    _________________________________________________

Are you accepting the fact that you have not been doing what you know you are supposed to be doing because of fear? I realize I have been.

So here are some “What Ifs” I have found worth trying (Trust me, I have to review these often!)

- What if we turn our “What ifs” around and restated them.

1.    What if I can do it?

2.    What if it feels good?

3.    What if it doesn’t require more than I have? Or What if it does require more than I have, but GOD provides what I am lacking?

4.    What if I stand strong?

5.    What if others see my Success and I stop needing the approval of man?

6.    What if I SUCCEED? Would that be so bad?!

- What if we started to believe Philippians 1:6 And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. [AMP]

What a confidence He has given us! He is faithful! He always has been, and always will be. The problem is we stop trusting His abilities and start trusting our own. We stop relying on Him and start counting on ourselves. Like we have any ability apart from God. Seriously?! He made us. He gave us breath. He gave us Life! I mean, really….Is there anyone who knows us better? Is there anyone more able to help us? 

The truth of the matter is, and it is one of my largest “What If” hurdles to get over, I am afraid of the #6 “What if” restatements. You know the one that says, What if I succeed?. What if I do? I will then be in unknown territory and that terrifies me. Why? Because that brings on more “What ifs”.  It seems to be a vicious cycle.

Except there again, I get my eyes off focus. I start relying and depending on my own abilities and knowledge. Oh what a foolish person I am! I need to stop fearing the unknown; stop trusting my own abilities; stop “What If”ing my way through life. I need to listen to my heavenly Father and trust His spirit to guide me, strengthen me and truly start LIVING!

The following verses are powerful to me. I hope they bring you comfort and to the same conclusion that I just stated.

Psalms 23:4 - Even though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no evil, for you are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. [NIV]

What does this verse speak to you? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. [NKJV]

Did you get that last part? A Sound Mind! Not a mind that is confused or fearful. But a mind that knows the will of God. A mind that has knowledge and the clarity of how to use it!

Here are some synonyms for the word sound: good, whole, sturdy, unblemished, perfect, normal, fit, and my two favorites – healthy and thorough.

In the lyrics of Walk On the Water by Brit Nicole are some powerful words:

So get out and let your fear fall to the ground

No time to waste, Don't wait, Don't you turn around and miss out on everything you were made for.  I know you're not sure, so you play it safe, Try to run away. If you take that first step into the unknown,  He won't let you go!

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?

Seriously, What do you have to lose? What are you waiting for?

STOP!

If you know me well, you know I hit every RED light there is! Lights see me coming and turn yellow then red immediately.  I don't know why, it just seems I am a magnet for them. I think maybe God has a message in this for me, but what? It seems everything I do - whether it is housework, writing my book, going on a trip, helping someone, and yes even losing weight - or try to do, I run into a giant Stop sign! 

Today, my van is on it's last breath and I just needed it to take me to work and back. I literally had to stop at every light in Union. Six of them in a three mile stretch. My van tends to stop breathing and chokes on me when I come to a stop. I have to turn off the car and restart it. ANNOYING!!! On the trip home from work, I kept asking God why He was allowing the lights to turn red on me, no answer came. However, while I continued to hit red light after red light, my van never died. Which is an amazing feat all in itself.  Yet, I still whined...and whined. When I pulled into the driveway and my van coughed, but didn't stop breathing, God let me know - I made it home! 

Indeed I did. I humbly apologized for being a whinny baby and started saying Thanks. 

I have been a BIG WHINNY BABY a lot lately!  Thankful for what I have, but very discontent. Especially with where I am in my weightloss. I see the photo down below of me three months ago and 35 pounds lost. That was, again, THREE months ago. Now I am only 40 pounds down. Thats 5 pounds in 3 months! Really?! Seriously, I have busted my butt, but my butt won't come off! Neither will my gut! Stoplight! Don't get me wrong, I am not going to stop. What I am going to do is stop stressing over it. It has to come off eventually!

I have even started jogging while I walk. Stoplight! My knees are not liking it at all and you can forget about my lower back even wanting to do anything the next day. But I will prevail! I feel better - minus the knees and lower back - and know I am doing all I can to do. Really?! Am I? 

No, I should walk more. Twice a week, really doesn't cut it. I rationalize that it is now dark when I get home and that is is freezing cold in the morning. I have an elliptical downstairs I could ride anytime, but do I --NO! Why not? - I have no answer to that. Which is an answer all in itself - laziness! Not enough motivation! Really? Seriously, 275 lbs isn't enough motivation?

Well.....GO already!

Sorry for the weight! (Pun intended)

Well it has been a long time since I have blogged here. I have tried and failed at getting to sit and write what I have been going through down. I felt I was being too negative - and this was supposed to be a positive and encouraging Blog to others and therapeutic to me. Instead it was becoming a real downer!
My weight hasn't dropped much. I seem to keep losing the same 5 pounds over and over.
On the plus sides I have made some real break throughs! It has been about 8 years (saddly) since I have weighed this little.  And I am back on track emotionally. I lost sight there for awhile of my goal and focus.

Eat well, exercise, drink water, sleep, & repeat! and the weight stays on.

I have not blogged in a while. It has been a rough week. I have lost the drive to really push. Don't get me wrong I am not eating the wrong things, just not to motivated to workout. When I do work out I don't lose weight, when I don't workout I do. But when I do work out I feel better and have more energy, and when I don't...I don't. Don't judge. It would make sense for me to work out to feel better and then the weight will come off...easy for you to say when you aren't facing the fact that I HAVE worked out for far toooooooooooooo long and the weight HAS NOT dropped. I have been on this plateau way tooooooo long. It has been three months and I have only lost 5!! lbs. What?!?! I do what is right and have stayed the course. Why isn't it dropping.

Tears are forming in my eyes right now as I think about how hard I have tried. I guess the past two weeks I have kind of given up with the doing anything extra.

Somebody help me!! I need to get out of this body!! I really need someone to come over and make me do it. I just don't have the strength right now to do it when there are so many things to do around the house. I rather not eat anything than exercise. Not good I know...

French Proverb

"Gourmets dig their graves with their teeth."

Had a great week last week. This week is going pretty good also. Have lost weight and am almost at my next mountain peek! Been walking a lot lately, but haven't had a chance to do the elliptical because my knee is acting up on me. Aggravating to be ready to do something only to have to stop for mechanical problems! This journey is hard enough, now this has added insult to injury! But I keep on plugging.

Been writing down everything I eat and all my exercise. It has helped me a great deal. Was tempted last night while shopping to buy some Keebler Grasshoppers; Dark Chocolate minty goodness! I figured "2 a day wouldn't hurt me! I have been good!" but then I remembered a line from the book I am reading called, "Made to Crave", that stated any reward that isn't beneficial to your health or healthy living isn't a reward at all, it is a stumbling block. I knew if I bought them I would eat more than just "2" a day. In fact I am pretty sure the whole box would have been gone before I got home. I was desperately craving chocolate!! So I didn't buy them. I reassured myself that, "I don't deserve what those would do to me!" I would have became a chocolate monster and ate every single one of them. Let me restate that; I would have inhaled every single one of them. I wanted to right there in the store!! It took every ounce of will-power I had, which wasn't much - Praise God, He stepped in and gave me strength - to put those cookies back on the shelf and walk away. It would have tasted good for a second or three, but this morning I wouldn't have felt good and the shame would be overwhelming. Instead, I feel pretty good and my body is still on the right path. And I truly didn't miss out on anything! I went home and had a small Andés Mint instead. It satisfied my tastebuds and didn't ruin everything I have been working towards.

A wise person stated - "We never repent of having eaten too little." - I try to keep that in mind because I was made for more than this!

Wrong Question - Part II

So you know the real reason you need to start losing weight and you have the some of the knowledge to do it.
I say "some" cause you need to get some more knowledge on what is healthy for your body. Some exercises may be too strenuous for your body. For me I just started walking. Once a week I walked a mile. Then two miles. Then twice a week. Then three times a week. I also cut back on eating. I started paying attention to portion sizes. It was extremely hard the first three weeks really. I felt deprived and hungry. But I wasn't really hungry, I just thought I was, so I learned to drink water instead of eating more food.
That worked for me. I went and got a wonderful trainer to teach me exercises and to keep me accountable and encouraged. Along with a trainer I got a nutritionalist who is teaching me how to eat. You may not be able to do that, but the internet is filled with great healthy info.
Find a person to keep you accountable. Preferably someone who has been through it. Someone whose been through it can give you tips and they know the struggles. They can sympathize with you. But it is good to have someone who will also tell you like it is and not give in to you.
You have found your motivation and the answer to why. Write it down and keep that in your mind everytime you want to cheat or quit. Don't quit. Don't give-up. It will come off. It will be a slow process at times, it may even stall, but it will come off. 1 pound at a time. 2 lbs a week is good!! and any weightloss a week is good!

Now....just DO IT! Go ahead, start walking....